Ireland Diaries: Prologue

   Over the familiar chime of the door as I walked into Black Press, a local coffee shop and one of my longtime haunts, I overheard the barista talking with a customer about their upcoming move down the street to a suite in a brand-new shopping center right in the middle of town.

    "Yeah", she said, "Sunday is our last day here. We'll be moving in and ready to go at the new place on Monday."

    "Sunday", I thought... "Sunday is the day I move to Ireland."

    I expressed this to the barista and told her it looked like I'd be leaving with the old building.

    "An end of an era..." she said. Truly, it is.

    I am moving to Ireland. It sounds so wholly random to the average ear, but unbeknownst to many, I have long held a deep spiritual connection to the British Isles - the lands of my Celtic ancestors, and Ireland especially has always occupied a special place in my heart. As if the music, the culture, and the weather aren't enough reasons to love a place, (yes, I love the rain. Cloudy, overcast weather. Can't get enough of the stuff. A pluviophile to the core.) throughout my own personal journey it has also come to represent the setting of my soul. I'd often lusted after living abroad nearer to the landscapes that contain such emotive associations and now, after having visited twice, I currently feel that perfect blend of comfort and novelty that predicates the yearning for a move.

    Aside from Ireland, geography in general has always been both a passion and a hobby. Being a dreamer, learning about faraway places is to me an escape into the real world. It's no exaggeration to say my favorite video game as a child was Google Maps. Cumulative days were spent travelling the world along with my guide, the Street View man, from the comforts of home. After sprinkling in a few formative reads, namely Bill Bryson's account of jaunting round Europe in Neither Here nor There, I realized it was possible to turn travel dreams into reality.

    At the close of my undergraduate degree in 2018, after 18 consecutive years in school, I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that being a student would no longer be part of my identity. I loved college and was in denial of its ending. Ignoring this impending grief, I began coping by manically peering into the comparatively murky chasm branded to us as 'real life’ and trying in vain to find something vaguely worthy of my direction. Who would blame me? After all, college by itself is a privileged and rather idyllic experience. I've heard it said somewhere that college is the last time in life that's authentically yours, and it's true. You own your time. You go to a place dedicated to developing the mind and learning new skills and ideas. You pay professors to give you their time sharing their accumulated wisdom and knowledge so that you may become both a better human and a better citizen of the world in whatever fashion you choose. Here is the definition of liberty, hopelessly romantic, never mind the added sentimentality of studying the humanities... 

    Naturally, I was looking for something of equal or greater gravitas to immerse myself into next.

    Of all the offerings on the Real-Life Buffet, not many looked very appetizing (as could be expected). However, amidst my disenchanted search for next steps I did find something that scratched the romantic itch: the Irish Working Holiday Authorization. Valid for those from the United States in-between the ages of 18 and 35 who are currently enrolled in a four year collegiate program, or for those who are within 365 days post their date of graduation, (along with a few other minor qualifications: having enough money to not be homeless, not being an axe murderer, you know, the usual) it allows legal permission to work and live in Ireland for up to a year.

    Now this was the kind of real life I was looking for! To quote The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, I wanted "To see the world, things dangerous to come to. To see behind walls. To draw closer. To find each other and to feel. That is the purpose of life."

   How exciting! To up and leave everything behind to go start a new life in a country far, far away, even for a year, at least. I thought of the innumerable ways life could change. I would gain new experiences, and meet new faces! Here was an opportunity to finally do some of my own traveling, on my own terms, like I’d craved for so long. It was a chance to continue building my own life the way I wanted and saw for myself: stimulating, curious,  adventurous.

   Of course, the occasional fear of failure sometimes crept in, but since then I’ve learned (and, like the rest of us, will never stop learning) that fear and failure both are normal and inescapable parts of life for us all! No matter what you do, try or not, life is hard and grief is part of the process. Sure, you will grieve acutely trying and failing, but it doesn't compare to the long, exhausting, energy-leeching grief of failing to try. That's why we've got to take risks. Risks are all we have. It's the universe's way giving us the chance to continue our story, to turn boldly to the new chapters of our lives. 

    I know this now, but at the time, the pressure to blindly follow the due course of lemmings falling off a cliff (otherwise known as societal expectations) harmonized with the comfortable siren song of being in a happy, long-term, committed relationship and I was kept in that liminal place where I continued the pragmatic search for a 'normal job' - shoving my travel fantasies under the rug. However, amidst the ebb and flow of these tides, the 'what if' never left the back of my mind. After much deliberation, and even more procrastination, I sent in an application on the very last day that I was eligible to apply - requesting a tentative entry date for an even farther date into the future. "The ultimate plan Z", I chuckled.

    "Hindsight is 2020", they say, and we all know what happened then. Appearances were made from all the leading roles:

    There was Pandemic, followed by Premature Move, and, lets not forget, Unexpected Breakup. Then, the usual gang: Heartbreak, Depression, Loneliness, and Confusion, all played supporting characters, but there was also a stellar performance from Personal Growth - his debut role! I can safely say that over the last two years I have experienced more personal growth than in the rest of my life combined. Going through the depths of a dark time and coming out of it into the light teaches you to find life's beauty right where you are. With this wisdom I set forth leaning into my interests and found, among a breadth of new experiences, passion, friendship, and community again. Soon after, when I least expected it, the Irish Embassy reached back out to me. The following is an approximate transcription of our correspondence:

    "Hey! Uh... Covid's basically over now... and, oh! You have an unfinished visa application in our file cabinet... Do you still wanna come?"

    Sitting there at Black Press, the setting of my rising action that's seen me tread the waters of indecision for years, at my usual spot under the porch where I’d spent countless hours pondering life and lost in reverie, I realized how much life is like a book - how nothing seems to make sense until a climactic moment, when it all comes together. These moments are ephemeral in my experience, but they're what make treading those waters worth it. I sat there for the last time, at the end of an era, and thought back on the events of the past once more: going from being apprehensive of real life to thoroughly enjoying it, finding contentment and happiness where I was, and winding up inadvertently at a place where I was more financially, and mentally prepared to do a working holiday than when I originally applied. The opportunity I thought was gone fell right back into my lap. I took it as a sign. When life got hard, I had to grow through it and face it head on. I had to learn not to run away, so that when time came to fly, I could run to. 

    I said, "Sure. Why not!" :)

    So, come along with me on my travels and stick around over the coming months as I share my impressions and opinions during my time in Ireland, as well as helpful first-hand advice for aspiring working holiday hopefuls. Happy to have you along! But, for now, as I literally finish writing this post on the plane ride to Dublin, hurtling through space and time on the way to my new chapter, I’m struck reflecting with a powerful simile, and I’ll leave you with this:

    In the style of an ancient Celtic spiral, what goes around comes around. Real life is like that: a triskele – a never-ending whirlpool of infinite death, rebirth, and creation - a universal hoard of possibilities. When one door closes, another one opens and it’s up to us to take a leap and embrace the perpetual change of life no matter where we are. So, hop on! Take the spiral for a ride, and don't be afraid to live your life!

This is Garrett. Signing off.

    Slan! Till next time!